I've always been an over-sharer on social media, so not being able to talk about being pregnant for the first few weeks has been killing me! Here's everything I've wanted to say from the day we found out (at 5 weeks) until the day we shared the news (at 12 weeks). It's probably more than you wanted to know, but that's me.
July 2, 5 Weeks
Well crap. This was not supposed to happen yet. We stopped using birth control in May because I was convinced it would take me forever to conceive, if I was able to do it at all. I was 34 (now 35) and we'd been debating having kids for years. I found out I was pregnant on Sunday, June 29, the day before the most stressful week to date of my new job. The week that we found out our oldest and longest-loved cat had cancer. The week that we also got bad, expensive news on the house we're trying to sell in Baltimore. The worst part? Not being able to tell my boss why I was crying about everything. I mean, many of these things were worthy of some tears, but I'm usually able to control and/or hide my meltdowns. Not this week! I also started suffering from morning sickness in week 4 (before I knew what it was), but by week 5 this had become all-the-freakin-time sickness. Morning, afternoon, evening sickness. Ugh.
Christian jokes that it is a hysterical pregnancy, despite two pregnancy tests (I was convinced I peed wrong on the first one), so since the baby is almost the size of a lentil, we're calling it the hysterical lentil. Also, my doctor's appointment isn't until next week so how am I supposed to know what to do? What to eat? What not to eat? What vitamins to take? How risky is cleaning the litter box really? The Internet is a resource, of course, but it became far too scary and overwhelming I had to stop. I want to ask all my friends who have had (many) babies, but I'm not supposed to tell anyone yet. Argh. I'll just keep eating avocados and walnuts and wait to talk to the doctor. P.S. Walnuts are gross.
July 9, 6 weeks Things I learned this week:
First OB consultation, July 10
My nurse practioner is quite lovely. We were given a gift bag of baby magazines, info sheets, vitamins, and diaper samples. They asked lots of questions, did an exam, and sent me for bloodwork for initial screenings. There are lots of screenings at various points along the way, and I'm already terrified about them all. Especially since I'm 35, and officially OLD for having a baby. Christian sat in through the pelvic exam and Pap smear, which was amusing. We're easing him into what's only going to get much worse :). Interestingly, they did not confirm my pregnancy, since apparently their tests are no better than home ones, so they just believed me! Which now makes me want to go take a bunch more tests just to be sure.
My due date is February 26 or 28, depending on which "wheel" they were looking at. The Internet says Feb 27, so it's somewhere around there!
P.S. The baby is almost the size of a blueberry. Hysterical blueberry.
7 weeks, July 12 Sleep, feel sick, pee, feel sick, drink tea, pee, feel sick, eat, feel sick, pee, cry, feel sick, nap, pee, feel sick, drink, cry, pee, feel sick, nap, feel sick, pee.... This is what my body wants to do. Which is mostly fine on the weekend. It's getting hard to fit in 8+ hours of work on a weekday though. Bleurgh.
July 15 Had a minor panic attack this morning when I discovered one of my back teeth was wobbly. But no need for worry, apparently "increased levels of progesterone and estrogen can affect the ligaments and bones that support the teeth, causing teeth to loosen during pregnancy — even in the absence of gum disease." Why does no one TELL you this stuff??
Week 8, July 20 Told the parents and sister today. Makes it a bit more real now that other people know outside our bubble! They were all excited but immediately concerned about my flying home for Christmas in what will be week 30. Which made me more concerned, even though the nurse said it should be okay (and the Internet says it's typically fine to fly up to week 36. All hail the Internet). I guess we'll wait and see how I'm doing closer to the time. I'll be very sad to not go home for Chrimble. Plus, I want BABY PRESENTS.
My biggest challenge at the moment is drinking enough water. I'm supposed to drink a gallon a day. A GALLON. I've never been one for drinking enough water (I hate water), so this is killing me. Even though my body is clearly telling me in a few different ways that I need to hydrate more. I'm struggling to sleep, too, mainly because I'm getting up in the night to pee and then cannot get back to sleep. I've been spending a lot of the wee hours on the sofa with warm milk and a book.
The nurse said that the first trimester sucks, but that the second trimester is "joyous." Bring it on. (Then the third trimester mostly sucks again).
The baby is the size of a raspberry and has eyelids and knees forgoodnesssake.
P.S. We hiked Menan Butte today, 3 miles.
July 27 Hiked South Fork Creek trail in Caribou National Forest, 4 miles. First time we've hiked in Christian's forest.
Week 9, July 28 The baby is the size of a grape and has officially graduated from embryo status to become a fully-fledged fetus. Weird. I alternate between feeling so-fine-that-I'm-sure-something-is-wrong to feeling like an exhausted walking zombie with a dodgy stomach. I haven't gained any weight yet, though apparently I will start to feel "thicker" around the middle soon. Yay.
July 30 So I'm supposed to do 30 minutes of exercise, three lots of kegels, eat 5+ servings of fruit and veg along with enough protein, calcium, and whole grains, and drink a gallon of water... Every. Freakin. Day. All while trying to do my job, get enough sleep, and not run out of money before the next paycheck. This is someone who can't keep fruit fresh, regularly runs out of toilet paper, has no idea what a whole grain is, and used to (when we had money) survive solely on frozen meals, take out, and wine. I am thoroughly unprepared for this. I left work early on Monday with a "headache" (really pregnancy fatigue and nausea), took a few hours off yesterday for a recommended-when-pregnant dentist's appointment, then have two doctor's appointments next week. Doing all this without telling work that I'm pregnant is ridiculous. Together with the mood swings and the fact that they haven't known me very long, I'm sure they think I'm an irritable flake. Gah. Add to all that the high risk of miscarriage during the first trimester (especially for people over 35) and I'm not in a great state of mind. Which isn't good for the baby either. $&%#@!!!! Would just holding a glass of wine help, doyouthink?
August 1, 10 weeks Finally found time to go grocery shopping (at 7am), bought some fruit, ate fruit, did some exercise, feel a bit better. Thank Crunchie it's Friday.
August 4$&!!*#%!!&@!^*!!!! We heard the heartbeat today. So there's definitely something in there! @$!!&*%##!! Excuse me while I have a panic attack.
August 7, 11 weeks
Big week! We saw the ultrasound yesterday during a consultation about genetic screening. The baby was more, well, baby-like than I expected! He/she's about 5cm long from bottom to head, which is big for how far along I am. (Have you met Christian? Of course I'm going to have a giant baby). It was a long doctor's appointment, mainly because of the lengthy discussion about the cost of various tests and what my insurance will or won't cover. In the end, we opted for the first trimester screening for now, rather than the "Maternity 21" blood test (which will cost somewhere between $2,000 and $4,500 even with insurance). All the tests are for Down's syndrome, trisomy 13, and trisomy 18. The screening just gives you a risk factor, while the blood test is diagnostic and 99% accurate, but we figured we'd go with the screening and use those results to help inform us about the other decisions. There are more tests we can do later on, too. The crazy part is that Maternity 21 isn't even offered to women under 35, so if this was a year ago, we wouldn't even be discussing it. Amniocentesis is a test we can do later, which has been around longer than Maternity 21 but is much more invasive (needle into the uterus. Ugh).
Anyway. Testing and insurance aside, we saw the baby! He/she was bouncing around in there and it was awesome to watch.
Today, I became an American citizen. Little did they know that they added two of us to the country, not just one. :)
August 16, 12 weeks I'm already out of my regular clothes, mostly, and into sexy elasticated waistbands. The weird part is that I'm definitely starting to show, but I haven't gained any weight. I've actually lost a few pounds since becoming pregnant. And I can't blame morning sickness, since that's been gone for a few weeks now. I think it's that I'm eating healthier than I have for a long time, and I don't have half the appetite for snacks that I used to. I spend most of my time worrying that something is wrong though. Is that normal? I wish I could have an ultrasound every week just to make sure everything is still okay in there.
My co-worker actually guessed on Thursday. She's only known me since June, so I'm not sure what gave it away, but it's nice to have someone quietly looking out for me (she makes sure I eat). I've been meaning to tell my boss for a couple of days, but haven't had a quiet moment to do so. Next week for sure! I'm running out of clothes that hide the mini-bump!
The pre-trimester screening came back negative. Or as negative as a "risk factor" can be. I was amazed at how specific the numbers were - this pregnancy has a 1 in 5,141 chance of having Down's syndrome (you have to be 1 in 298 or less to be considered high risk) and a 1 in 8,861 chance of a baby with trisomy 18 or 13 (you have to be 1 in 150 or less to be considered high risk). We've decided not to pay for the expensive diagnostic test at this point, but I'm still worried - so much worrying!!!
ARTitorium finally opened this weekend - to great success - so an end to the insanity that has been this summer is within sight. I would mostly just like to sleep for a month.
August 19 Up again at 2am. I feel lucky if I manage to sleep until 4am these days.
Told the boss and nearly all family and close friends yesterday. Most people guessed the minute I asked to Skype with them. My boss totally knew. It was really nice to talk to people who've been pregnant about all the first trimester craziness. I also learned about a lot of miscarriages. I had no idea they were so common until I a) started reading about them online and b) found out that so many people I know have had them. Terrifying. There's so much that isn't shared about the first trimester. I feel incredibly relieved to have made it to 12 weeks, but still scared of all the things that can go wrong. We actually ordered a fetal heart monitor so we can keep an eye (ear) on the babylander between doctor visits. But now of course I'm worried that we won't be able to find the heartbeat... Argh!
August 21, 13 weeks The news is out - we finally told Facebook yesterday! It's funny how loved you feel when you post something like this to social media. Onward to the second trimester!
Christian jokes that it is a hysterical pregnancy, despite two pregnancy tests (I was convinced I peed wrong on the first one), so since the baby is almost the size of a lentil, we're calling it the hysterical lentil. Also, my doctor's appointment isn't until next week so how am I supposed to know what to do? What to eat? What not to eat? What vitamins to take? How risky is cleaning the litter box really? The Internet is a resource, of course, but it became far too scary and overwhelming I had to stop. I want to ask all my friends who have had (many) babies, but I'm not supposed to tell anyone yet. Argh. I'll just keep eating avocados and walnuts and wait to talk to the doctor. P.S. Walnuts are gross.
July 9, 6 weeks Things I learned this week:
- Apparently I now need 15+ hours of sleep per day. If I stay still for more than 5 minutes, I fall asleep. I was so tired the other evening that I felt drunk. And not the happy kind of drunk, the head-spinning, slurred-speech, what-the-$&*#!-was-I-thinking kind of drunk. The kind I have NOT missed since giving up alcofrol.
- On that point, it's really difficult to keep pregnancy a secret when you have a reputation as someone who loves wine.
- Note to self: if you are lactose intolerant, suffer from IBS, can no longer take your daily medication, and are in the first trimester with pretty bad morning sickness... DO NOT DRINK A REED'S MILKSHAKE. That's enough said about that. Add another thing to the list of delicious items I cannot eat/drink again until the spring.
My due date is February 26 or 28, depending on which "wheel" they were looking at. The Internet says Feb 27, so it's somewhere around there!
P.S. The baby is almost the size of a blueberry. Hysterical blueberry.
7 weeks, July 12 Sleep, feel sick, pee, feel sick, drink tea, pee, feel sick, eat, feel sick, pee, cry, feel sick, nap, pee, feel sick, drink, cry, pee, feel sick, nap, feel sick, pee.... This is what my body wants to do. Which is mostly fine on the weekend. It's getting hard to fit in 8+ hours of work on a weekday though. Bleurgh.
July 15 Had a minor panic attack this morning when I discovered one of my back teeth was wobbly. But no need for worry, apparently "increased levels of progesterone and estrogen can affect the ligaments and bones that support the teeth, causing teeth to loosen during pregnancy — even in the absence of gum disease." Why does no one TELL you this stuff??
Week 8, July 20 Told the parents and sister today. Makes it a bit more real now that other people know outside our bubble! They were all excited but immediately concerned about my flying home for Christmas in what will be week 30. Which made me more concerned, even though the nurse said it should be okay (and the Internet says it's typically fine to fly up to week 36. All hail the Internet). I guess we'll wait and see how I'm doing closer to the time. I'll be very sad to not go home for Chrimble. Plus, I want BABY PRESENTS.
My biggest challenge at the moment is drinking enough water. I'm supposed to drink a gallon a day. A GALLON. I've never been one for drinking enough water (I hate water), so this is killing me. Even though my body is clearly telling me in a few different ways that I need to hydrate more. I'm struggling to sleep, too, mainly because I'm getting up in the night to pee and then cannot get back to sleep. I've been spending a lot of the wee hours on the sofa with warm milk and a book.
The nurse said that the first trimester sucks, but that the second trimester is "joyous." Bring it on. (Then the third trimester mostly sucks again).
The baby is the size of a raspberry and has eyelids and knees forgoodnesssake.
July 27 Hiked South Fork Creek trail in Caribou National Forest, 4 miles. First time we've hiked in Christian's forest.
Week 9, July 28 The baby is the size of a grape and has officially graduated from embryo status to become a fully-fledged fetus. Weird. I alternate between feeling so-fine-that-I'm-sure-something-is-wrong to feeling like an exhausted walking zombie with a dodgy stomach. I haven't gained any weight yet, though apparently I will start to feel "thicker" around the middle soon. Yay.
July 30 So I'm supposed to do 30 minutes of exercise, three lots of kegels, eat 5+ servings of fruit and veg along with enough protein, calcium, and whole grains, and drink a gallon of water... Every. Freakin. Day. All while trying to do my job, get enough sleep, and not run out of money before the next paycheck. This is someone who can't keep fruit fresh, regularly runs out of toilet paper, has no idea what a whole grain is, and used to (when we had money) survive solely on frozen meals, take out, and wine. I am thoroughly unprepared for this. I left work early on Monday with a "headache" (really pregnancy fatigue and nausea), took a few hours off yesterday for a recommended-when-pregnant dentist's appointment, then have two doctor's appointments next week. Doing all this without telling work that I'm pregnant is ridiculous. Together with the mood swings and the fact that they haven't known me very long, I'm sure they think I'm an irritable flake. Gah. Add to all that the high risk of miscarriage during the first trimester (especially for people over 35) and I'm not in a great state of mind. Which isn't good for the baby either. $&%#@!!!! Would just holding a glass of wine help, doyouthink?
August 1, 10 weeks Finally found time to go grocery shopping (at 7am), bought some fruit, ate fruit, did some exercise, feel a bit better. Thank Crunchie it's Friday.
August 4$&!!*#%!!&@!^*!!!! We heard the heartbeat today. So there's definitely something in there! @$!!&*%##!! Excuse me while I have a panic attack.
Anyway. Testing and insurance aside, we saw the baby! He/she was bouncing around in there and it was awesome to watch.
August 16, 12 weeks I'm already out of my regular clothes, mostly, and into sexy elasticated waistbands. The weird part is that I'm definitely starting to show, but I haven't gained any weight. I've actually lost a few pounds since becoming pregnant. And I can't blame morning sickness, since that's been gone for a few weeks now. I think it's that I'm eating healthier than I have for a long time, and I don't have half the appetite for snacks that I used to. I spend most of my time worrying that something is wrong though. Is that normal? I wish I could have an ultrasound every week just to make sure everything is still okay in there.
My co-worker actually guessed on Thursday. She's only known me since June, so I'm not sure what gave it away, but it's nice to have someone quietly looking out for me (she makes sure I eat). I've been meaning to tell my boss for a couple of days, but haven't had a quiet moment to do so. Next week for sure! I'm running out of clothes that hide the mini-bump!
The pre-trimester screening came back negative. Or as negative as a "risk factor" can be. I was amazed at how specific the numbers were - this pregnancy has a 1 in 5,141 chance of having Down's syndrome (you have to be 1 in 298 or less to be considered high risk) and a 1 in 8,861 chance of a baby with trisomy 18 or 13 (you have to be 1 in 150 or less to be considered high risk). We've decided not to pay for the expensive diagnostic test at this point, but I'm still worried - so much worrying!!!
August 19 Up again at 2am. I feel lucky if I manage to sleep until 4am these days.
Told the boss and nearly all family and close friends yesterday. Most people guessed the minute I asked to Skype with them. My boss totally knew. It was really nice to talk to people who've been pregnant about all the first trimester craziness. I also learned about a lot of miscarriages. I had no idea they were so common until I a) started reading about them online and b) found out that so many people I know have had them. Terrifying. There's so much that isn't shared about the first trimester. I feel incredibly relieved to have made it to 12 weeks, but still scared of all the things that can go wrong. We actually ordered a fetal heart monitor so we can keep an eye (ear) on the babylander between doctor visits. But now of course I'm worried that we won't be able to find the heartbeat... Argh!
August 21, 13 weeks The news is out - we finally told Facebook yesterday! It's funny how loved you feel when you post something like this to social media. Onward to the second trimester!
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